he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
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Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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