i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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