Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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