quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am one with the molecules
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
