I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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