I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
