This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your cock deserves a montage
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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