I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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