im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize