Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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