when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
