And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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