Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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