For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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