Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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