So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
