I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize