Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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