apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
