He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
