She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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