Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
