i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
