Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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