Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
