It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
