So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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