Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
