Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
