working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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