do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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