dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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