I'm jealous of your bromance
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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