Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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