So drunk its hurt
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
