fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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