Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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