Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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