Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.