very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it glows. i had to have it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass