Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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(315): View more from New York

so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

(315): View more from New York

here comes the puke

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(562): View more from California

I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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(954): View more from Florida

Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.

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