Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH