Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (515)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.

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  (305): I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see. http://tfl.nu/wyhs
  Replies (30) Good night (713) Bad night (3203)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are

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  (301): I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are http://tfl.nu/5z46
  Replies (15) Good night (6382) Bad night (790)
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  (530): View more from California

  before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

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  (530): before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake http://tfl.nu/dlo4
  Replies (15) Good night (2152) Bad night (5015)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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  (816): Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you" http://tfl.nu/hln2
  Replies (19) Good night (7035) Bad night (2060)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.

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  (814): I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild. http://tfl.nu/qodr
  Replies (9) Good night (5166) Bad night (929)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

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  (717): If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving. http://tfl.nu/mp36
  Replies (7) Good night (913) Bad night (2487)
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  (524): View more from

  How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?

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  (524): How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him? http://tfl.nu/bb5f
  Replies (2) Good night (1894) Bad night (529)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (2041) Bad night (415)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (375)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

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  (403): You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything. http://tfl.nu/58f8
  Replies (1) Good night (1343) Bad night (388)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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  (616): I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears http://tfl.nu/z9kz
  Replies (12) Good night (665) Bad night (870)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

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  (267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (631)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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  (817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (320)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

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  (718): You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning. http://tfl.nu/qv31
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (263)

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