We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I FOUND THE LEGS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts