Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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