Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.