my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
