she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
