I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
