That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
