I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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