so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
