I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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