their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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