a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize