I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
