Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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