Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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