Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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