It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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