Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
