So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You are the jesus of drinking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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