There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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