Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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