I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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