Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
