Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
