well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
