K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
