Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
