it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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