i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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