ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i came on her dog
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
