he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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